I recently shared on social media about something I was facing: The challenging side of maker world.
After an overwhelming response and realizing I am not alone in these experiences, I decided to expand on that social media post by doing a three part blog series to talk about three of the biggest challenges of Maker World and what I have learned about them:
- community aspect
- defining our own self worth (this post)
- finding your tribe
This situation I experienced reminds me that it is too often that we allow others to dictate our self worth and how we feel. In an instant, the person(s) driving this situation had knocked me down. Sure I am human and have feelings. Yes, my feelings were hurt. Yes it blindsided me and knocked me off my game for a minute (a week). But all of that comes down to allowing someone else to determine my worth.
As I said in the first post of this series:
I have come to learn and accept, after much turmoil and these experiences, that all Maker groups are not for everyone. There are too many unknown undisclosed factors and agendas (whether it is to sell merchandise or get people to believe in or practice a certain methodology or something else) that work for some and maybe not for others. They serve a purpose to be sure but may not be a good fit for all. And that is ok.
While it was a a bumpy tough lesson to learn, this makes sense to me now. Just because something may not be a good fit does not mean you are (I am) worth less. A bad fit does not equal less value. Period.
Keeping it real: Nobody will EVER care about what you do more than you. And the truth is that is how it should be. Fact! Yes, I care deeply about people in my life and what they are doing and want to support them, but I care MOST about what I am doing and what I can bring to the table and how I can serve my purpose. When we spend more time seeking and working for the approval and acceptance of others then we have let them determine our worth.
This is a hard pill to swallow. So get some tea. Take a minute. And soak it in. With love.
I love this article by Tania Kotsos and she really gets in the deep dive on self worth. She breaks it down and gets really real.
For me personally, it comes down to my relationship with God and who I am in Him and my ability to add value to the lives of others. It comes down to knowing I left more than I took when I leave a table. It is about the quality of my work as a knitter, crocheter and human being. It is about MY voice and not the trend. My self worth comes from knowing at the end of the day I have given it my all and go to sleep and rest easy.
Yes of course insecurities pop up and we all have self doubt. But face that doubt head on and knock it down with your own awesomeness instead of projecting it onto others.
I said: KNOCK THAT DOUBT DOWN WITH YOUR OWN AWESOMENESS!!!
Without relying on others to validate your awesomeness - dig deep and KNOW that you are awesome. Say it out loud if you need to: Your worth is determined by the value you add to the lives of others, by what you bring to the table when you sit down. It is NOT determined by what others say it is.
I believe in community and I believe in the power of coming together as we are meant to be. I look at the scripture to know this is right:
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another.
Heb 10:24-25 (NLT)
Because when we come together to learn, listen and engage we end up transformed in ways beyond our imagination. When we come together to add value to each other we are reminded of our awesomeness. But we must be cautious not to rely on the community group to determine your (my) value. It is so essential to know the value you (I) bring to the table before we even sit down!
Sometimes we feel so much pressure for being a "community" that we forget that we are awesome and listen to the voices of others instead of that small voice within. I know because I let this happen.
It is also easy to forget that some people need to knock others down to feel they are higher. I do not believe in this method. That is NOT community over competition. Heck, that is not even competition. I believe that we can all succeed and all meet our own destination and should all be striving for the best. I don’t have to knock you down to climb higher. We can both rise UP. And to do so we all need support. But that support should not determine if we are worth it. Knowing we are worth it needs to come from within.
BE YOU but NOT at the expense of others.
Find YOUR groove and YOUR voice.
Embrace who you are with gusto and might and let that empower you to celebrate who other people are as well.
YOU determine your worth